One night at 1:30 I was about to fall asleep when I heard shattering glass outside, so I put on my shorts and got my fake tourist sword and went outside to investigate. My complex has been suffering a rash of car breakins. But our cars seemed fine; likewise the next complex over. I walked down the street a bit and saw a bunch of teenagers clustered in this driveway next to some parked cars and a van. I stood on the opposite side of the street and watched them (and boy, was it cold), sword on shoulder.

Of course they eventually noticed me and said "Hey, motherfucker got a sword!". I just watched them. "What's the matter, you don't like Mexicans?"

I shrugged and they said "You Chinese?"

"Yes." I stood there some more.

"You could get shot carrying a sword around."

I shrugged again and continued staring at them and occasionally up and down the street. They were getting all macho because, you know, their girlfriends were around. They kept talking about the sword.

"Whaddya think you are, Conan?"

I watched them some more.

"You know martial arts?"

"I used to."

"You never forget that shit, man."

"I was a little kid."

More watching.

"You waiting for someone?"

"Yes."

"FUCK the po-lice!"

I hadn't called the police at all being the stupid bonehead I am, so I just watched them.

A couple drifted away and I began shivering a lot more, probably visibly.

The two most aggro guys stood around for a lot longer and talked a bit. But eventually they decided they had saved enough face and walked back down the alley away from the cars. I waited a bit longer and then got back into bed to warm my patooties.

The epilogue is that the next morning I went over to the driveway and looked at the ground but I didn't see (any more than the usual) broken car glass. So maybe they broke a bottle and were just hanging out legitimately.

Man, I was scared stiff. Guys will do some pretty stupid things, won't they? All in the name of 'balls'. I should have called the cops.