Why do some drivers suck so badly? In the absence of plausible theories
one can only draw conclusions from cold hard facts, that is, from your
own driving experience. I used to work graveyard shifts. So suckful
drivers might be sleepy. I flip through all my cassette tapes while
tailgating at speeds normally reserved for Nazi armies advancing through
France. So suckful drivers aren't paying attention. I am a jerk.
So suckful drivers are trying to get your goat.
Today I was in a lane that adjoined another street, but this lane did not
merge as would an onramp with a highway. Some CRETIN tried to
merge into me and wound up cutting me off. So I flipped him off for
several hundred feet (mere nanoseconds at speed). Pulled over into the
lane in which he WAS and tried to pull up to him. The wuss tried
to speed up to avoid any sort of eye contact, and as I pulled up next to
him he abruptly hit his brakes to fade behind me (the ultra-cool
World War II pilot maneuver, executed by a PINHEAD IN A PUKE GREEN
TOYOTA CAMRY! Richard Bong spins in his
crash-landing grave). So I never
got the satisfaction of seeing the sweat-stained face of a man sure that he
was going to die at the hands of an Uzi-wielding gang member. Life
just isn't fair sometimes.
On the other hand I have pulled my share of boneheaded maneuvers,
mostly involving very close tailgating. A cop called me on it once.
To this day I am still the only person I know who has been ticketed
for following too closely. I did actually hit another car once but
I just paid the fellow off and we went on our merry way. Gotta lower
my deductible to get my money's worth out of the insurance, I suppose.
I think I cut off some guy on the 110 the other day near Dodger
Stadium, plus I nearly rammed a stalled car on the 110 south/10 west
exit, so I guess the karma balances out. Someday I'll die in a
fiery auto crash
and people will stand around waving pom-poms. Please send
postcards to Craig
Shergold in lieu of flowers.
I have another rant.